Someone feels comfortable...

"The nightmares came when I woke up and knew you were away."

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - "Twins"

No more hugs 'til you give up drugs.

I've never seen anything like this in my life, either.

Giving Thanks.

The director of the program I work at (it's a day program for adults with developmental disabilities) took yesterday off, and so, as program coordinator, I was assigned the task of facilitating the weekly support group for some of the behavioral clients.

I was supposed to do the regular stuff: Go around the room and check in with everyone and see how everyone is doing, discuss any issues they're currently having, have them practice some relaxation/deep breathing exercises. But since yesterday was the day before Thanksgiving, this support group was slightly different than the other ones they've had before. I also asked them what their plans were for the the Thanksgiving weekend/holiday, if anything. Also, I was assigned the task of reading them a story and leading a discussion/self-reflection activity after.

For "non-disabled" people, the holidays can mean very different things to different people. Some people love the holidays, as they can bring up a lot of pleasant memories, of things like good food, happy family gatherings, and so on and so forth. On the other hand, some people hate the holidays, for possibly the exact opposite reasons: Maybe they never had those pleasant family gatherings; maybe food was always scarce, and they were just further reminded of that fact when they knew it was the time of year where everyone around them was having these big family feasts, while they themselves had little/nothing to eat.

So, a "non-disabled" person can get pretty fucking bummed out during the holidays - some people go through bouts of depression around this time. This is a person who has a had a "normal" life and has, at least, some coping skills, or some experience with/exposure to them.

Now, imagine for a moment you were born with a condition, or conditions, which has, or have, affected your "normal" development - mental and/or physical. Conditions that not only affect the way you think and perceive the world, but affect the way the world thinks about and perceives you.

Mental retardation. Autism spectrum disorder. Drug misuse during pregnancy, resulting in conditions such as Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders. Down Syndrome. Child Abuse. Brain injury or infections before adulthood. Seizure disorders. Chromosomal or physical abnormalities.

Maybe "normal" coping skills have not been taught to you (since maybe you need to be taught them directly, because everyone assumes you learn these "naturally"). Maybe these more-adaptive coping strategies are out of your mental/physical grasp. Maybe you did learn them ("naturally" or through long-term, constant, direct teaching), and they just have not worked for you, and so you eventually have come to see no point in using them - historically, people with developmental disabilities have been GROSSLY mistreated, regularly being (many times silent) victims of physical abuse, sexual abuse, psychological/emotional abuse, financial abuse, legal/civil abuse, systemic abuse, peer abuse, restrictive practices, and neglect.

Okay, back to the story.

So, if a non-disabled person, with the capacity for using adaptive coping skills, can become depressed over the holidays for things they've gone through or things they don't have...what must it be like for a person with developmental disabilities, who can't use/don't have adaptive coping skills, who has gone through things you would never imagine a human being living next door to you (because they could, very well, be living next door to you) could possibly go through, who could very well have had little to nothing their whole lives?

Luckily, this area has pretty decent resources available to it's residents with developmental disabilities - the local regional center is just down the ways in Campbell. And, as I asked the clients yesterday, many of them do have their families in their lives, so they will be going home for the holidays, at least for Thanksgiving dinner. But there were a couple that weren't going home. One said their family have all moved away from San Jose, their parents residing somewhere in Arizona. Another client said his dad is visiting his sister for Thanksgiving, and she's in Maryland or something; his dad doesn't like traveling with him - he's too "difficult". Which, I agree, he definitely can be at times. But it doesn't make it any less fucked up to leave your son behind on Thanksgiving. (Those two will be having big Thanksgiving dinners at their group homes, just FYI. But they do happen to be living at some of the better, more caring, group homes - because there's definitely some group homes out there that don't really give a shit).

But in any case, I ended the support group session by reading the story I was told to - it was about how stiff the competition is in India to become a goverment-hired graveyard shift rat catcher. No chemicals, no traps. Just your hands, a bag, and a killing stick.

So I asked the clients, after I was done reading, why I read the story. (Another side note: Many of our clients - again, all adults - are illiterate, either because they never learned to read, never had the opportunity to learn to read, or just can't physically read or don't have the mental capacity to.) Most of them got it, many of them saying something along the lines of "No matter how bad the situation seemed, or how gross, difficult, or risky the job was, they were thankful they even had a job, and they were thankful for the security of it."

So then I had them close their eyes for a moment, and quietly think of at least 1 thing they were thankful for - it could be anything. After a few minutes, I said if they wanted to share, they could. All but two shared. Someone was thankful they got to move into a new room at their group home. Someone was thankful for being able to volunteer at the Second Harvest food bank. Someone was thankful they had a house that was strong when they were 7 years old so they didn't get hurt in a big earthquake. Others were thankful for the good food. And others were thankful for their families and the support they are given by them. I thanked them for their time and participation, we all said our "byes" and "happy thanksgivings", they all left the room, got picked up by their Job Coaches, and they went to get dropped off.

What am I thankful for? I'll keep it brief. 5 things.

Family that is there for me...well...most of the time. As shitty as they can be sometimes, they've always shown support for me in at least some of the things I do. And in the cases where they're not so supportive, they're just kind of hands off. Which is fine. And we're talking more now. So I'm definitely thankful for that.

My health. I'm 26 years old, going on 76. With this cold weather, I wake up in the mornings and I can't move - my joints creak and crack, my back aches, etc etc. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Once I'm warmed up, I can move around. I can walk. I can still skate. I'm stoked.

Skateboarding. Without it, I'd probably be dead.

I have a job that I like, that I enjoy going to everyday, that pays the bills (for the most part), that makes me feel like I'm making a difference, and that allows me to work with such amazing, caring, and giving people. Unless you work in this field, and work specifically in this office, I assure you: You'll never even begin to understand what I'm talking about.

Friends. For the first time in my life, I know I'm surrounded by people I care about who really, truly care about me - they're just as much my family as my "real" family, and sometimes even more so. And I honestly believe that. Forget all the bullshit I've been going through the past year and half or so. Forget feeling worthless and like I'm a waste of time and space. My friends in my life now make me feel like I matter; like I'm human; like they actually like having me around. And I love hanging out with all of them as well. And so with this little paragraph (along with hanging out with them and doing what I can to show them how much I love them, how much I care, and how much they mean to me, of course), I want to make them feel like they matter. Because you all do. More than you'll ever know.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Have fun, and be safe. Make sure you think of at least 1 thing you're thankful for. Because I know, and you know, you can. Take care.

Great Job!

Shut Up, Foo'.

"Eyes lit. On sharp threats. From dark lips. But lights press. The soft skin. To rough hands."

Crystal Castles - "Crimewave"

Banksy: "Pier Pressure"

The most villainous of villains.

This about sums it up.

A late graduation gift.

I don't think I got you a graduation gift, baby sister. So here's a blog post. My first one in a long time. And it's just for you - Sita Nojopranoto, proud graduate of Stanford University's Class of 2010.

The fam-fam.

Bachelor's degree from Stanford? Check.

Taking some time off? In the middle of it.

Ph.D? Just a matter of time.

Yeah, you're pretty much killing it.

I've probably been putting off writing this blog post for you for so long because I didn't really know what to say. I still don't.

What is there really to say? You're my baby sister. You were always a bright kid; really bright. A hard worker. A bit on the uptight side. But I think you're learning to relax.

There's never been any doubt in my mind that you would do great things with your life. And you already are. Just look at where you're at in life: Multidisciplinary bachelor's degree from Stanford University. Making some pretty decent money at a startup right there in venture capital country. Prepping yourself for grad school to get your Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. I'm not surprised, at all, by any of the amazing things you've done (and have yet to do). I'm pretty much speechless.

I have no doubt you have it in you to keep moving forward in life. As long as that head on your shoulders stays level, you keep your loved ones close, and you do everything you do for the right reasons, I know you'll achieve everything you want and more. Congratulations on everything you've achieved so far, Adik. I'm sure you at least have some idea of how proud everyone is of you. But I really think you have no idea how proud of you I am. Love you, baby sis. Congratulations again!

Better Late Than Never.

Pretty appropriate title - for multiple reasons.

My mom, Wilson, and I.

I've known Wilson since kindergarten. A lot of time has passed since then. A lot has changed since then. But, when it's all said and done, he's one of the few people I've known since way back when that I'm proud to still call a friend. One of my best friends, even.

We don't hang out nearly as much as we should - but it's not for lack of trying. We have different groups of friends, different things going on, different schedules, different responsibilities, and so on and so forth. But no matter how much time has passed since the last time we kicked it, it always feels like we've been hanging out everyday; and I still feel more comfortable talking to him about anything and everything than I do with A LOT of other people in my life.

He is, without a doubt, one of the raddest people I know. Seeing the path he's taken - career-wise, educational-wise, and life-wise - has been pretty interesting, and pretty inspiring as well. Having done it the way he did, he should be pretty damn proud that he graduated from college - I'm definitely proud of him, more than words could ever express.

I respect you so much for sticking it out after all these years and finishing up your bachelor's degree, no matter how long it took you. Your hard work, determination, persistence, and perseverance are all definitely awe-inspiring. If you approach your future the way you've approached finishing school and studying what you want - I can't wait to see/be a part of the awesomeness that will be the rest of your life.

Congratulations again, Wilson Tsan! SJSU Class of 2010, huh? Hell yeah! You did it!

P.S. Sorry for taking 2 months to post this for you. It's the thought that counts, right?

My other baby sister is now a college graduate.

Congratulations Danna!

Seeing you graduate from college is already enough to make me proud and inspired. But when you take into consideration everything you've been through, especially during your time in college, it's all the more inspiring, at least to me, that you stuck it out, worked your ass off, and graduated from USF - in 4 years, too! There's no doubt in my mind that you're going to accomplish many more great things with your life.

Congratulations again, Danna!

Pet week bonus post!

Pet week is over. This dog doesn't belong to anyone I know. But I don't care. This is too cute. I had no choice but to post this. Damn it I want a dog...

This and this.

This:

Sounds very different from this:

Kittens doing kitten things.

And so, we come to the conclusion of pet week. Thanks for checking it out. It's been fun.

Haley, Round 2!

Haley!

Enjoying life.

Double trouble.

2 posts in one day, because: 1. I didn't have a chance to post yesterday; and 2. This photo of my dad and his feathered friend is pretty awesome.

Not stoked.

Theme of the week: Aminals!

I know I haven't updated in a while.

But, have no fear, all 2 of you that look at this blog! (That's including me...)

So, just to share, I go to Cute Overload a lot to get my fix. (What? I like animals!)

The other day I was going through my iPhoto and realized "Hey, I have a lot of photos of pets and animals and such". And thus, my ode to Cute Overload: Pet Week!

"Sick du'!"

"Re-arrange with subtle change."

Ohbijou - "New Years"

We move slow, we move slow.
Feel this cold, feel this cold.
Turning heads with our swift retreat
out of the city.

Move these frames, move these legs.
Re-arrange with subtle change.
Make it fit so you won't feel bored of it.
Won't feel bored of it.

I'm coming after you.

Lover come grab your guns.
I know that you want some.
Maps in flames, I'll follow you
While you lead the way.

I'm coming after you.

"You're not large, you're not medium. They have husky."

Oh yeah, I took a trip down south a few weeks ago - didn't take too many photos. Of the few I took, this one's one of my favorites.

I'm drawn to this kind of stuff.

It'll break your heart and make you smile.

I've never met the guy; but I'm sorry for your loss, Jamie.

Happy Birthday Mom!

That's my mom on the left - the one with the huge smile on her face. Seeing her happy on her birthday is what Saturday was all about.

I always have trouble figuring out what to get my mom for her birthday. She is, without a doubt, one of the most selfless, caring, non-materialistic people I know; which is great, because it makes her such an amazing person to have in my life, to look up to, and admire...but not so great when I want to show her I appreciate her.

A little over a month ago, a friend of mine (Matt D.) had a Facebook status about having Indonesian food for lunch with his wife. I left a comment, asking him where they had gone. He commented back, informing me they had gone to Borobudur Restaurant in San Francisco, a few blocks away from Union Square (Post at Jones, to be more specific). We talked about it a little more (through comments on that same status update), they said they really enjoyed the food, I went to the restaurant's website, checked out the menu, got really hyped, and I immediately decided on what I was going to do for my mom's birthday.

My mom never really goes anywhere, and she usually works, well, everyday of the week. She actually had her birthday weekend off this year (she was going to Stanford's Parent Weekend), so I just told her to make sure she was free for dinner either Saturday or Sunday, whichever worked best for her. I was going to "surprise" her by taking her to Borobudur Restaurant in San Francisco. I would organize it so we all got up to San Francisco and I was going to treat everyone.

So I made the reservation for 7:30pm, just to be safe, since I had pick my mom, my aunt, and my dad, around 4:30pm from Stanford, meet up with my sister and Justin, and drive up to The City. It turned out to be a little too safe, as we got there 45 minutes early. The place was packed, they couldn't fit us in earlier, so we had to figure out what to do for 45 minutes.

Justin wanted to check out Niketown, so we walked down Post. But alas, it was not to be. Niketown closed early...

...due to the Chinese New Year Parade, that apparently was going on Saturday as well. We just pretended it was a parade for my mom's birthday. Chinese New Year was a week ago - none of us knew the parade was going to be on that day. It definitely wasn't a bad way to kill some time.

We got back to the restaurant at 7:30pm, and they still had to clear one more table so we could all sit together, so we had some time to take some photos outside. Once we got inside, we got right to point - we perused the menu. Then we ordered, ate, talked, and laughed. A lot. It was actually really, really nice. And the food was good, too. We all approved.

After we ate dinner, we sang Happy Birthday to my mom, the restaurant gave her ice cream ("It's Vanilla."), I paid for dinner, my dad was quite photogenic the whole evening, and we all went home. While we were walking back to my car, my mom said she really appreciated me taking her here. She said she'd been in the U.S. for 30 years, she'd never eaten here before, and she probably would've never gone here if it wasn't for me. That pretty much made this whole month of planning worth it. She seemed happy. My sister said the same thing. My sister also thought our mom looked really happy in the photo I took of her while we all sang Happy Birthday to her and she got "her" ice cream (I ended up eating most of it) - the photo that I started this entry with. So I think I'll end with that one, too.

Happy Birthday Mom!

This is how I'm feeling right now, only way less fun.

So, I've been sick for this whole week, pretty much. I've even had to call in sick a couple days. But, I did try to go to work a couple days - probably not the best idea. There are new symptoms to be surprised by everyday I wake up - so, everyday is kinda like Christmas morning, but not as tight. At least I imagine it's not as tight, seeing as I don't celebrate Christmas. Anyway, I don't get sick very often, so I always forget what it's like. It sucks.

I'm up WAY too early to be doing this.

So, anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a total skate nerd: History, culture, trends, news, gossip/rumors, companies, teams, pros, ams, tricks, spots, et cetera; I know a lot more about skateboarding than I should, and I think about skateboarding in a way that's more intellectual than it probably deserves. Or maybe skateboarding needs to be thought about much more critically than most people give it the time for. Maybe I'm doing a good thing. Or not. Whatever. Anyway...

This nerdiness, FYI, doesn't necessarily come by choice, in particular the skateboarding news and gossip/rumors; I don't really give a shit about the new amateur for this company or that company, or who did what trick at what spot. I think that having been skateboarding for almost 12 years, anything skateboarding-related kind of just seeps into my mind and stays there more readily. And unfortunately, I think it leaves less room for more important stuff to stay in my memory, like current events, political happenings, and basic math skills. But it is what it is, I guess. Maybe I just have to try harder.

(I'm going to apologize ahead of time, right now, for the following spiel about globalization, manufacturing, consumer goods, and consumer behavior and psychology. It's probably a waste of time to read, I know, but for some reason I feel like typing out all this crap going through my head.)

Also, anyone who knows me, knows I'm a pretty conscious consumer. We here in the good ol' USA live in a consumer-based society, and as much as I don't like the idea that we're more consumers than citizens, at least I recognize that; and I feel like that's a good place to start to change things for myself and those around me; and to use it for good, rather than evil. Basically, I like to make as informed a decision as possible when it comes to my purchases, or when it comes to anything I do or am a part of.

Globalization. It has it's pros and cons, and I have both my praises for it and my issues with it.

People take for granted the stuff they buy. Whether it's food or drink, a t-shirt, a computer, or even (gasp!) a skateboard, most people don't really give a second thought to the ramifications of their purchasing decisions. Most people think, for example, "Ooh, I like this shirt. I could use a new shirt. And at this price? How can I pass up this deal?" But is it really a deal, and should they pass it up? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for buying stuff - that's why I have a job: so I can buy stuff I want and/or need. I don't think being a consumer is necessarily a bad thing. But, the next time you buy something, try and think before you decide to make that purchase: Why, or how, is a particular product a particular price? Where did the materials for this come from? Where was it made? Who made it? How much did they get paid for their work? What were their working conditions like? Do I really want or need this thing I'm considering buying? Do the pros outweigh the cons? Don't just think about monetary cost, because the price tag usually doesn't reflect the real cost of the production of whatever item you might be thinking about. I guess I just find it odd that something made thousands of miles away with (more likely than not) similar materials, is cheaper to make, ship, and thus sell, than something made close to home. It certainly doesn't seem sustainable, at least in my mind.

If you haven't watched "The Story of Stuff", I'd highly recommend it. It's fun, cute, informative and accessible if you don't have much knowledge of the topic, and relatively short.

I know that growing up, I took skateboarding for granted. I need a new board, I finally have enough money, I like this board, I want it, I buy it - done and done. I mean, it's still like that now, even with other stuff - sometimes I just buy stuff, not just skate stuff, without really considering the actual costs of finding the resources for something, getting the resources to the factory, making it, packaging it, packing and shipping it, unpacking it, putting on the floor, and me paying for it and getting it into my hands. But for a while now, especially when it comes to skate stuff, since that's what I buy the most, I try to be as informed and conscious as possible of what I'm purchasing.

Globalization, just as it has touched everything else we experience in the world, has touched skateboarding; in a way, globalization and skateboarding have always been intertwined. And I'm not saying it's good or bad; it just is. But as far skateboarding goes, I'd like to know as much about what I'm getting myself into, because I don't want to be paying the same amount for an inferior product, or for more destruction to the ecosystem than is necessary, or for a less-than-ideal work environment for the people making my skateboard parts.

I'm definitely a fan of buying stuff "Made in the USA." That's definitely no secret. For a long time, at least when it comes to skateboarding, everything was made in the United States. But with globalization, capitalism, profit-margins, and everything else, it was only a matter of time before it became financially unsustainable to make everything at home. And I'm okay with that. I like the fact that people in America have jobs if things are made here, but I don't own the companies, and they have to do what they have to do. As long as they're still making a good product, it's all good. Pretty much.

I've been a fan of Deluxe (Real, Antihero, Krooked, Thunder, Spitfire) ever since I started skateboarding back in 1997. Those companies, the people who rode/ride for them, worked/work for them, and most importantly, the products they made/make have always been my favorite to skate. The fact that they were a local company was (and still is) also a pretty big selling point with me. And so with the internet and wealth of information it contains, the connections and friendships I've made, along with my curiosity and need to know where my stuff comes from, I've been on a hunt for years to figure out where and how it's all made. I'll get a tour someday.

Thunder, Independent, and Venture trucks, along with Spitfire wheels, are pretty much all made in San Francisco, so I'm stoked on that; though I'm not sure about all the new "Light" trucks, though). Deluxe boards used to be made in the US, but I could never really figure out where, and by who. I've known for a while that there are only a handful of woodshops that make skateboards for the "reputable" companies: Watson, PS Stix, Bareback, ASF, and DSM, are some examples. I'm actually not sure if there's much more than that. I know that at least some Deluxe boards were Bareback (the ones that used to have a Bearpaw stamped on the top ply), but not all of them had that. So then what? I asked the shop guys at Deluxe, and they pretty much said the same thing: "The bearpaw ones are Bareback, but I'm not sure about that other ones". Then the stickers with the words "Made in Mexico" started appearing, and I really started researching. Not very intensively (well, it was pretty intensive at first, but I came up with nothing time and time again), as I have more pressing things to deal with, but, slowly but surely...

But now, after randomly thinking about systems theory yesterday while driving, and my long-time interests in globalization and skateboarding, my mind is at ease. I have found the answer I've been looking for. Years of research, rumors, and bullshit talk by certain people, have finally led me to this:

BBS Manufacturing (formerly Bareback). Their website is simple, informative, and accessible, but a quick summary probably goes something like this: They used to be Bareback, one dude bought the other dude's share, now it's BBS. They used to make their boards down in SoCal, but now they moved 50-something miles to Mexico because labor is cheaper, rent is cheaper, and it's a lot closer than China: Faster turnaround, more control, and the boards are still made by Mexicans, just in Mexico now - as opposed to being made by Mexicans in America. I really like the video tour of the woodshop they have on their website. Let's just say, after perusing BBS' website, I'm even more stoked that I ride Deluxe boards.

Just for for another view, I also found this video tour of Dwindle's DSM Woodshop in China. It's definitely given me a new perspective on Dwindle boards. But I still find the idea of making and shipping skateboard decks overseas a little weird. Plus, they don't make a size or shape I like, anyway. But hey, if you like it and it works for you, go for it, I guess. Whatever makes you happy and keeps you healthy.

So why did I decide to WRITE a blog entry about this? I haven't written much of anything in a while, I woke up at 4am and it was too dark outside to do anything, and I found the BBS Manufacturing website and got SUPER stoked on it. So yeah. I'm gonna go get ready, get some food, go skateboarding with friends, and run some errands.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

"I know this world is big enough for you and I. But I'll give you more."

It's been a year since you acknowledged that you lost your faith in love and left me all alone. But I don't love you any less. If anything, I think I love you more - for your honesty, and for your willingness to try and face this thing you're going through head on. I hope you remember what love means someday, and accept it and embrace it.

Dennis Busenitz.

Dennis Busenitz's part from the Adidas video "Diagonal".

Girl Power Can Save The World

Eve Ensler's Opinion piece on CNN.com

pascuatch

Marc has a blog, so give it a look-see: http://pascuatch.blogspot.com.

Marc Pascua, wallride nollie out.

All Hail Cardiel

Happy Birthday, Dr. King.

"I turn sideways to the sun, and in a moment I am gone."

New Order - "World"

I turn sideways to the sun,
keep my thoughts from everyone.
It's a jungle, I'm a freak.
Hear me talk, but never speak.

So I'm stepping out of time,
because breaking is a crime.
And it may all be too late,
but I've no passion for this hate.

That's the price of love. (That's the price of love.)
Can you feel it? (Can you feel it?)
If we could buy it now, (that's the price of love)
how long would it last? (That's the price of love.)

And when this building is on fire,
these flames can't burn any higher.
I turn sideways to the sun,
and in a moment I am gone.

That's the price of love. (That's the price of love.)
Can you feel it? (Can you feel it?)
If we could buy it now, (that's the price of love)
How long would it last? (That's the price of love.)

(That's the price of love) That's the price of love.
(Can you feel it?)
If we could buy it now,
How long will it last?

New Order Kicks/The Perfect Kiss

New Order is one of my favorite bands of all time. I go on these New Order kicks every now and then, where I'll listen to nothing but New Order for about a week at a time (sometimes longer, sometimes not as long). Then I'll listen to them every and now and then. And then, something will spark something in my mind and I'll go on another kick. After I posted that last video for True Faith (which you could play, and listen to while reading the New Year's Resolutions post simultaneously - I think it fits, at least), I went on another New Order kick.

I love this video, and I love this song - in particular, this version of it. I'm so glad someone (canuck21) posted it in (legitimately) high quality on YouTube. From that little info box on the video's webpage:

"The Perfect Kiss" is a 1985 single by New Order. The vinyl version has Factory catalogue number FAC 123 and the video has the opposite number FAC 321.

The video was directed by Jonathan Demme, which is unlike any other New Order clip. Set in the band's practise room, it simply depicts the band playing the song from beginning to end. Since it is a unique live performance, the video version of the song sounds different from other released versions.

New Order - "The Perfect Kiss"

If I had to pick a song that describes me, this would probably be that song.

New Order - "True Faith"

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cause I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much

I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...

When I was a very small boy,
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
And the value of destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I fear you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding

New Year's Resolutions

I don't always make new year's resolutions. But, last year sucked so bad for me, that I feel like I need to do something to make sure 2010 is a good one. So here's what I got.

1. Be honest with myself and the people in my life that I love. (I'm off to a good start with this one.)
2. Be a better friend to the people in my life that deserve it.
3. Volunteer regularly/work to make my community better.
4. Live by a love ethic.
5. Figure out what I want to go to grad school for.
6. Study for the GREs.
7. Take the GREs again and do good enough on them.
8. Apply for grad school.
9. Exercise/stretch out at least every other day.
10. Read at least a book a month.
11. Set aside 1 day a week to clean my room and run errands.
12. Go back to school for at least 1 class at a time.
13. Pay off my credit card debt by June.
14. Be happier.
15. Learn 360 flips. Almost 13 years of my life spent on a skateboard, and I still can't do them. I've been landing them every now and then, so it's going to happen. By the end of the year, I'll be comfortable enough with them. For reals this time.

I would end with a skateboard-related resolution. Happy New Year! (A little late, but it's still the first week of 2010, so I think it's still appropriate.)

"This is a song about having fun with your friends."

The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - "Everything With You"

start off "sometimes..." now it's our time
are you with me?
strange teenager, waiting for death at 19
are you with me?

i'm with you and there's nothing left to do
tell me it's true
...and the stars are crashing through
i want everything with you!

now your someone says you're no one
strange teenager, you'll never know
death at 19